Corbael The Headshot Whore
Posts : 571 Join date : 2012-01-15 Location : Elsewhere
| Subject: Welcome to the new and improved Hell! Tue Apr 01, 2014 4:23 pm | |
| Maxwell and Calamity would like to welcome you to the brand new Hell!Hell used to be a place full of fire and brimstone, but let me tell you: We ran out of room pretty damn fast! Thankfully, Satan went through the trouble of upgrading the whole place to personalized Hell-Pods! 666% more suffering per sinner! Of course, Satan is no longer available due to the promotion of Maxwell Smiles to Unholy Lord of All Things and King of Ultimate Agony and Despair, but don't let that deter you from living your sin-filled life! We've got a pod for you, don't you worry! Enjoy wonderful torture methods such as freezing, burning, quartering and reassembly, the moose room, eternal loops of bad pop music, being strapped into a table full of prissy valley girls and forced to discuss popular tv dramas, relaxing swims in hot oil, and much more! Remember, if you get to Hell and you aren't experiencing horrid despair, please let us know so that we can remedy the situation immediately. All for a better tomorrow, all for a better Hell! | |
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